My Thoughts Right Now

Yesterday, a girl sitting by me in class asked to borrow a pencil. I searched through my bag and found my one and only mechanical pencil that I keep when I need to take a test. At the end of the period, I turned back to her and she had all her stuff packed up and was about to leave when I asked her for my pencil back. Awkward, but it is my only one. She reluctantly handed it back to me and I stuffed it in my bag, mad that I felt stupid about asking for my own pencil back. I pulled it out again today to use it on a test for my flexibility class. No matter how many times I clicked and clicked, no lead would come out. I took a closer look and discovered that the entire top of my precious mechanical pencil had been chewed and was now mangled and busted. Definitely not ideal.

Know what else is not ideal? Walking outside to find that your car, which has up to this point been nothing but a total lemon and a thorn in your side and needing expensive replacements far too often, has rolled down the driveway and crashed into the neighbor's tree.

Sometimes, while I'm walking around campus, I'll remember something funny and I'll start smiling uncontrollably. Today I thought about an apple that I saw at my family's house. It was on the counter and it had three tiny chipmunk bites taken out of it. Katie looked at it and said, "Mom, this is what happens when you give Emma a whole apple to eat."

Why hasn't it snowed? What is going on? I can't even listen to Christmas music because it feels like September. It's definitely cold enough in the mornings, but then the afternoons are just sunny. It's the first week of December and Timp is bare and still conquerable. I feel weird.

Moving is not a fun experience, but it is a good opportunity to get rid of some crap you've been holding onto for years. I am a very sentimental person and I have kept every birthday card anyone has ever given me. I just can't throw them away. It was only when I moved to BYU as a freshman that I finally found the wherewithal to chuck all my old notes from junior high that were folded in crazy ways and had "For Your Eyes Only!!" written on the front in pink glitter pen. Russell can't believe all the weird things I have kept and stashed away - little horse keychains, my old retainer, twelve best friend necklaces that Melissa has the other half to (as if just one necklace wouldn't have made a clear enough statement), magazine cutouts of Heath Ledger that I taped to my locker in tenth grade, a stack of burned CDs with songs from cool artists like Jewel and Matchbox 20, old bookmarks that I made in Young Womens...making this list is making me feel quite lame. It's also, however, filling me with some wonderful memories.

I got to ride my uncle's horse when we went to his house for Thanksgiving. It made me remember how much I want to have a horse of my own someday. I think Russell is okay with this dream. I think he will also be okay with being the official pooper scooper.