Monday, July 26, 2010


My senior year of high school, I read Dante's Inferno in my Literature class. One of the fun assignments we had to do during the unit was write a short essay detailing who we would put in hell and what punishment we would give them.

I can't remember who I put in hell, but I do recall my punishment: having a terribly bad sunburn all over their body, AND being in the worst stage of it, which is violently itchy and totally unbearable, AND not being able to scratch it at all. And the punishment is that they have this agonizing feeling 24/7. AND they are outdoors and the sun continues to mercilessly bear down on them as they bake alive in the heat.

Is there anything worse? I submit that there is not.

I do this to myself every summer. I think I am being really careful with the sunscreen, but then I do a crappy job or forget to reapply after getting wet. I am currently in the most painful stage of my sunburn, where scratching is the only relief and yet it makes it a thousand times worse. My chest is smoldering. My legs are seared. My shoulders are char-broiled.

I always tell myself that next time will be different. Well, this time I am serious. Next time I will wear SPF 200 on my idiot pasty skin. I will lather on three coats, just to be sure. And I will wear a sunhat and a caftan as well.
Ahhhh, sweet summer.

Friday, July 23, 2010


Russ insisted that we change the blog. Drastically. I don't know why he cares, since it's MY blog, and he doesn't have any clue what I write on it. But he does have an eye for design, and I have to admit, it looks a lot cleaner.

What do you think?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Goods & Bads Of Our Summer

Good: I like teaching. Most of my classes are enjoyable. I get to teach a wide range of people: my youngest students are 4 years old and my oldest ones are in their 60s.

A classroom full of 10 and 11 year olds = my worst nightmare. HOW does the elementary school teacher handle all their fickleness and insecurity and restlessness? I will never know.

Good: I have Sundays and Mondays off, so I can teach our Primary class, take four-hour naps, have dinner and play games with my family, and take my little sister to the pool.

Bad: Russell works two jobs, and we never have the same days off. I work all day every Saturday, which means I miss out on all kinds of fun things. And Russ has had to work a lot of Sundays, so our Primary kids ask me if he has gone apostate.

Good: I drive on the freeway every day to get to one of my teaching sites, and the car is nice, air-conditioned, reliable, and it runs as smooth as a baby's bottom (Thank you again Lees).

Bad: Katy Perry's "California Gurls" comes on the radio every ten minutes. I absolutely hate it. It's just classless debauchery. I feel ill every time I hear it come on and that perv Snoop Dogg's slimy voice murmurs, "Greetings, loved ones." EW.

Good: My family is in Disneyland this week, so Russell and I are house sitting and puppy sitting. It's fun to have a whole house to ourselves. We've been doing a lot of grilling too.

Bad: Sammy chews on our feet at 5:15 in the morning.

Good: Russell's airport job means that he can bring me home Cinnabon several times a week.

Bad: I can't think of a single bad thing about that situation.