I can't handle it. Can't.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
I am feeling good.
A week after Graham was born, I went to the Emergency Room with a fever of 104 and was told I had endometritis - an infection along the uterine wall. I went on antibiotics and the infection went away.
For a few weeks, one of my favorite things was a little inflatable donut chair that I got from the hospital. I carried it around everywhere I sat. It popped.
I haven't been back to the gym. I wonder if Gold's can reimburse me for the month of October because I had a baby? Fat chance.
On Maternity Leave
I thought staying home all day would be suffocating, but it is surprising how busy I am with feeding, changing, bathing (him, not me), cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and showering (me, not him).
I do, however, get stir crazy and enjoy going on walks with Graham - at first outside, but now around the mall or Ikea.
I have started cooking on a semi-regular basis.
I cry whenever I think about going back to work next week.
For one so small, I can't believe how much poop Graham emits.
Sometimes it does amazing shooting tricks, like the fountains at Gateway.
I almost have my gag reflex under control.
Whoever says infant dirty diapers don't stink is delusional.
I am amazed that it burns so many calories.
I love being the one that he absolutely can't live without. I love how calm and quiet he becomes when he nurses and how when he pulls away, his sleepy face is smeared with milk and sometimes he'll afford me a gooey little smile before slipping into Dreamland.
I do a lot of it. I keep a Spray 'n' Wash stain stick on my nightstand now for quick access.
On My Social Life
I have next to none. I only get out of my fluffy bathrobe to put on regular clothes about every three days.
On Days and Nights
Graham has them mixed up.
He sleeps the day away, and by the time Russ comes home, Graham is ready to party. He loves when we dance him around the living room to David Bowie, Robyn, and the Killers.
His most awake period is from 1:00 to 4:00 a.m.
Graham came and filled an enormous hole in my life that I didn't even know was there.
I only met him a short while ago, but I would do absolutely anything for him.
Every time I look at him, I feel like my heart is going to burst.
Each grunt, coo, sigh, and whimper is a total miracle.
The sleep deprivation and poop-stained curtains are definitely worth it.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
From babycenter.org at 37 weeks:
"While you're sleeping, you're likely to have some intense dreams. Anxiety both about labor and about becoming a parent can fuel a lot of strange flights of unconscious fancy."
That is so spot on for me. In the last week, I have dreamed the following scenarios:
- The baby was born with a five o' clock shadow and his scruffy beard hurt my face when I tried to kiss him. Russ was proud; I was mortified.
- The epidural needle was as thick as a hot dog.
- Russ was playing a three-on-three basketball game while I was laboring and turned his phone off, so I couldn't get a hold of him to come to the hospital and the baby was born without him.
- We didn't have our own apartment; instead we brought the baby to Nordstrom. I sat on one of those velvety couches and the swanky shoe salesmen looked at me with disgust as I ate a sandwich, wiped up spit up, and asked where I could shower.
- When I tried to breastfeed the baby, milk shot out of me like water out of a garden hose. And it kept going. My mom showed up to help and said it was completely normal and that I would "leak" like that for another hour or so.
Despite the fact that these dreams begin my day with distress, everything else is going fine. I have weekly appointments now with my doctor, who is a gem. He always makes me feel relaxed and excited about what's happening in a few short weeks.
I now have this thought in my head every time we go anywhere or do anything: "I wonder how many more three-hour naps I will take'," "I wonder how many more drives in the car where it's just you and me," "I wonder how many more times we will go to all three hours of church without interruption," or "I wonder how many more packages of frozen corn dogs we'll get through before the baby comes." It's a weird feeling - I know that my life is about to change dramatically, and yet I can't really imagine what it will be like. To calm my fears of the unknown (since my dreams aren't helping anything), I am spending all my free time reading up and getting mentally prepared as well as taking inventory of all our baby goods and making sure we have the important things.
Although I grow increasingly more uncomfortable and whiny each day, I feel that my pregnancy has been relatively easy. I don't have anything else to compare it to, but I know I have managed to escape a lot of miserable things that happen to other pregnant women, so I count myself lucky.
At this very moment, the baby is hiccuping like mad inside me. Three more weeks until I get to meet him!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
School started this week. There is no A/C. I work on the second floor and there is no elevator. I am 35 and a half weeks pregnant. Am I insane?
Russell, Katie, and her boyfriend Rick helped me get my classroom ready. I mostly sat right in front of the fan and directed them on where to put things.
Things are off to a pretty good start. I don't know whether it's my three years of experience or my suddenly short fuse that is making me so good at nipping discipline problems in the bud. I have no problem laying down the law for my students - and they really don't want to mess with an enormous sweaty emotional woman that looks like she may have a breakdown at any moment (or go into early labor - that's what I have been threatening them with).
I have three fans in my room and there is a swamp cooler in the hallway. I keep the lights off, point one fan directly on me, and remind my poor students that it will start to cool down in a few weeks.
I teach part-time, which means that I don't start classes until 10 or 11 every day. Even though I am only been doing half of what I did last school year, it feels like a full load for me. I have no idea what I'd do with a full-time schedule. I come home every day at 3:30 and read and nap. I realize that this precious time to myself has an expiration date, so I am determined not to waste it.
Baby is due September 29, and I plan to work up until my due date. I will have six weeks of maternity leave, and I want to be able to spend as many of those with baby as possible.
I have all my lesson plans ready for the long-term substitute who will take my place. We have a crib, a carseat, a changing table, and curtains. Up next on my to-do list: get a pedicure, stop treating baby's room as a place to throw junk into and shut the door when people come over, and read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Russ ran the Deseret News marathon on July 24th.
I was especially proud of and inspired by him because my current state is one in which I cannot run for even three minutes without feeling like my stomach will explode and/or needing to find a restroom pronto.
He had a lot of support from our friends and family. We're so grateful they took the time to come and cheer for him.
I saw a lot of families running the 5K and 10K races together - dad, mom, kids, and baby in a jogging stroller. It made me want to start training after the baby is born and become a runner extraordinaire and then make it a family affair.
We'll see if my enthusiasm lasts.
We'll see if my enthusiasm lasts.