Inferno

My senior year of high school, I read Dante's Inferno in my Literature class. One of the fun assignments we had to do during the unit was write a short essay detailing who we would put in hell and what punishment we would give them.

I can't remember who I put in hell, but I do recall my punishment: having a terribly bad sunburn all over their body, AND being in the worst stage of it, which is violently itchy and totally unbearable, AND not being able to scratch it at all. And the punishment is that they have this agonizing feeling 24/7. AND they are outdoors and the sun continues to mercilessly bear down on them as they bake alive in the heat.

Is there anything worse? I submit that there is not.

I do this to myself every summer. I think I am being really careful with the sunscreen, but then I do a crappy job or forget to reapply after getting wet. I am currently in the most painful stage of my sunburn, where scratching is the only relief and yet it makes it a thousand times worse. My chest is smoldering. My legs are seared. My shoulders are char-broiled.

I always tell myself that next time will be different. Well, this time I am serious. Next time I will wear SPF 200 on my idiot pasty skin. I will lather on three coats, just to be sure. And I will wear a sunhat and a caftan as well.
Ahhhh, sweet summer.