Thursday, February 2, 2012

I Hate Eating Healthy


My fourth period class got over and the students raced out the door, eager for their lunch break.

I, however, took my time gathering my things and locking my door. With a heavy heart, I made my way down to the faculty lounge, where I knew my lunch was waiting for me.

Spinach salad. With chopped strawberries and cucumbers in it. And strawberry vinaigrette dressing.

One of my 2012 goals is to eat better - I'm sure everyone has this goal, but I'm also sure mine is the only one that is subheaded with the following plea to myself: Stop eating so many Pizza Lunchables. They will kill you.

So at the grocery store, I spent more time in the produce section and filled up on fresh food. Then I brought it home and even woke up early to make my lunch ahead of time.

But. What it doesn't say on the bag is that spinach actually tastes terrible and won't fill you up at all. No one ever finds themselves craving leaves. I resented every bite of my brachiosaurus lunch and would take the sodium-filled over-processed Lunchable any day, simply because of its ability to cheer rather than to depress.

I hate healthy eating. No matter how hard you try, every bite makes you more irritable and wish that you had just gone with a Domino's pizza or a Carl's Jr. hamburger instead.

13 comments:

Unknown said...

I like to eat healthy salads. And then I put real bacon bits on it :) add some yummy chicken to your salad so you don't faint in class!

Richard and Kayla said...

hahahahaha! oh how I miss you. at least you can keep your lovely figure and still eat whatever you want! :)

Calloways said...

I LOVE this post. Laughed out loud. Just what I needed :)

Stephanie said...

hahahaha. Hilarious. I mean, I do like healthy food, but I absolutely agree that pizza lunchables just make me so happy.

bonbon said...

glad to see that some other adults in this world are eating lunchables! me and greg get made fun of CONSTANTLY for eating lunchables. But they're oh-so-convenient. And easy. And yummy.

Grant and Jill said...

Aubrey, I love reading your blog! You make me laugh every time! Hope things are going well for you. Good luck with the leaves!

Jess said...

I think you express what many of us feel.. You are hilarious :)

byufish said...

FIRST...kudos to you for trying to be healthy.
SECOND....I'm RIGHT THERE with ya....leaves for lunch are the PITS...BUT...if you had some chunks of fresh mozzarella in that salad it would make up for the leaves...you need SOME protein to make up for the nothingness....just sayin'.

Linda J said...

Aubrey I love reading your blog, it makes me happy every time (not your pain obviously). It's weird, but I loved the cheese in them. I'm sure it's not real but the white cheese was the best. I no longer indulge since here in Canada they want four bucks for one. Good for you for going healthy!

Natalie said...

blog-stalker award, i saw you and russ driving by the capitol in salt lake on tuesday! super random, i would've honked but that would be weird. hope you had a fun time!

allison said...

Hahaha, Aubrey I looked at that picture and thought, "oh that looks so yummy!" but you are super skinny and not trying to loose the rest of your baby weight! That's probably why...your body knows you can afford it. haha. You are hilarious and I love you.

Jason + Sarah said...

ME TOO! 100% agree with this one.

*Brandi said...

I love this post. You always make me laugh...and I totally agree with you. My favorite line for today? "I resented every bite of my brachiosaurus lunch." Amen, sista!